Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
