Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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