i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
