On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
