just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Randomize
