C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
