hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
