Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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