Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
