remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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