Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
