I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
