apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
