idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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