Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
