somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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