I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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