What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
