He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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