ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
