I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
