I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
