is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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