i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
