The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
