im six kinds of drunk right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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