You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
