Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
