I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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