you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
