oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
