We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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