Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
