and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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