rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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