Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my liver is dry heaving
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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