I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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