vagina is talking i cant
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
