why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
