Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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