Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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