I just cut my nipple shaving
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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