Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
