people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
