took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
