with your own penis?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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