rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
