it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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