hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
