I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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