Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just google imaged poop.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
