you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
